The Face of a Gay Man

I’ve heard and read all kinds of comments in the past few weeks: shameful, disgrace, sinful, abomination, plus a few words that can’t be repeated in this medium.  Of course, these words are directed at those of us who are gay or lesbian.

I suppose I should be used to them by now.  Whether it’s from schoolyard bullies to bully pulpits, anti-gay rhetoric is as ubiquitous as it is violent.  Sadly, these slurs are also widely accepted with resounding ‘amen’s from those who claim to follow Christ, who was strangely silent on this very emotional issue.

As a Christian, I am grieved by this spiritual violence and abuse.  As a gay man, I realize that these words are being used to attack not only me, but thousands of us who live in Montgomery County .

That’s right.  Thousands.

Our first annual Pride celebration drew more than 500 supporters to celebrate diversity in Clarksville .  And as remarkable as the attendance was, we are keenly aware that it is but a mere drop in the bucket of the true number of GLBT people who live in the region.

It was a family event, and the sense of excitement throughout the park was electric.  We were entertained, we were informed, and had a great time.  We had FUN.

The backlash was as immediate as it was explosive.  Letters, phone calls, and complaints have been heaped on The Leaf-Chronicle as well as on the Parks and Recreation department.  How DARE we have a pride festival?  Who do we think we are?  One letter even asked, “What’s next, a gay pride parade?”  Hey, that’s not a bad idea.

To everyone in Clarksville , I must say this: we live here too.  We are your brothers and sisters, fathers and mothers, daughters and sons.  We are your uncles and aunts.  We are your employees, your employers.  We are your friends, classmates, and co-workers.  We work, live, and dine in Clarksville .

And yes, we pay our taxes.

No, we’re not perfect.  But we are human.  We are real people.  We have our lives, loves, and dreams.  And yes, we have fulfilling relationships.  We get butterflies when we ask someone on a date, and our hearts race at that first kiss.  When our hearts are broken, we go through that whole process of healing and moving on. 

Yet we’re told time and again that “It’s not love.  It’s just sin.”  “It’s an abomination.”  The only true abomination is the hate, fear, and bigotry that is hurled in the name of a loving God.

In a time when there are no real national enemies except for Al Qaeda, it’s only appropriate to conjure up some diabolical “gay agenda” that seeks to turn the whole country into Sodom and Gomorrah .  I suppose it is human nature to have an “us and them” mentality that has the heroes with white hats and villains with black hats (or pink triangles).  This mindset is easy to embrace and satisfies a need to be vindicated in one’s own hate.

Yes, I will call it what it is: bigotry, fear, and ignorance.  The only way to truly combat this is to provide education and real faces.  And we provide those faces by telling those around us who we really are.  As we come out of our ‘closets,’ we do so knowing that we risk a great deal. 

We also know that the only way we can be treated as equal is to show that we ARE equal.  And that’s the responsibility we as GLBT people must shoulder.  We educate by saying to those around us, “You’re talking about me.  And I’m not like that.  This is who I am.”  It’s a great challenge for all of us.

One recent letter lamented that “gays are only after acceptance.”  Why is that such a bad thing? Of course we want to be accepted.  Why shouldn’t we be?  Why shouldn’t we be encouraged to have life-long relationships?  After all, what better way is there to combat STDs than to provide an environment that embraces stable, happy, and monogamous relationships?

So what is the “gay agenda?”  Put simply, our agenda is to be able to file joint taxes, have next-of-kin status, and to be treated as human beings with all the rights and dignities of everyone else around us.  That’s what Clarksville Pride was about.  And that’s worth fighting for.